Advice

[AmandaL]

I need some advice. I have been asked by a neighbor to come and talk to him and his wife about food quality and nutrition.   

He wants to change the way they eat and wants some direction.  I get the impression that his wife is not on board and is irritated that he is talking to me about the way they eat.  Like many women, she views the cooking as her role and feels like she is failing.  (This coming from the husband)

The second issue is, which I hear often, is "sure you can eat well you are a stay at home mom, I work, I don't have time."

I can share with the knowledge of E4H, and practical guidance in time management....that’s not the problem.  How do you disarm the attitude?     

I am scheduled to over there on Saturday and talk to them both. 

[CatharinaL]

What a difficult situation!

As you will be meeting the wife who will most likely be on the defensive. You would need to bring some interesting facts about the health benefits of eating organically, locally grown produce. Maybe you could bring a nutritious snack for them to try or offer them one of your favorite recipes. Just keep it low key and open and I am sure that you will have great results!

[LaurieF]

Hi Amanda, this can be a really tricky situation.  Before you visit be sure and spend some time to be clear in your own mind what your objective is and visualize a positive outcome of the conversation, especially how you will handle any negative emotions from his wife.  Keep a picture in your mind of responding with compassion knowing that she may very well be threatened by some of what you have to say. 

Also, just a few practical tips you can pass along if you'd like from a full-time working mom.  Some of the things I do is:

1) every Sunday morning I create a menu for the week (and I also log it in my computer so if I'm not feeling inspired I can go back and look at other menus I've created).
2) from the menu I create a shopping list and also look at any bulk items I'm low on that I need to pick up (spices, beans, grains, etc). 
3) when I get back from shopping I immediately clean and cut my veggies and herbs so that when I get home from work during the week it doesn't seem like such a chore to eat healthy.

I've been doing this for years and it really works.  I don't have to stress over "what's for dinner" because I just have to look at my menu when I get home.  And I know I'll have all the ingredients.

Best of luck with your visit, and remember to approach his wife with compassion and understanding.  She's less likely to stay on guard if you are calm and patient regardless of her attitude.  She may also know more than she thinks about healthy eating.  And you never know, you could inspire her!

[NatashaLL]

One thing that comes to mind to help disarm the attitude is to use Bauman to it's fullest. And for that matter, research in general. For example, showing them the E4H model and saying "this is how the school I am attending reccomends you spread your nutrition and eating and we can talk about some ways I have done it, and then we can talk about some ways I have read other people have done it, and then we can talk about your day and figure out what we might be able to do with it".
The trick is explaining it and/or presenting it in a manner which is not saying "I know more than you and so do these people", but rather "hey, here are some things to think about". I think that comes across in your conversation, but also in the plan or notes you leave them with. I think people like the conversational route where you are not trying to be the fear factor, but really just trying to be genuine and educated about your response.
I think starting the conversation with a thank you is always helpful too. Especially here because while she may not have agreed with her husband's decision, she is still letting you in the house and giving you an hour or two to chat. That is pretty valuable in itself.
Lastly, I think cooking and eating together is always a good casual, conversation iniator. Maybe you can set some time up that day to cook something for a bit of hands on fun.
Hope these help.

[HollyZ]

Getting someone to change their old habits is not easy. I like the idea of bringing in a few snacks for her to try and setting up a time to cook for her.  Maybe you can get her to just add a few nutritional things into her meals or snacks so she doesn't think all she eats is junk.   There are items that can be added to food dishes that you don't even know they are there.  Good luck.  I am doing this same thing for my husband. He was not receptive at first, now he is trying things.

HollyZ

[AmandaL]

They cancelled last minute so all was moot.   Thanks for the suggestions though, they were appreciated.  And I can imagine that similar issues (one person in a couple wants to eat healthy, and the other wants to continue w/ SAD) is pretty common.